


Walking Away (Is the Hardest Decision)

by Musetotheworld



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, Kara has some realizations, More a pre-fix-it?, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 00:32:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10525179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musetotheworld/pseuds/Musetotheworld
Summary: After breaking up with Mon-El, Kara spends a lot of time on introspection. And the realizations she comes to end up surprising her.





	

Three days. That’s all she makes it.

Three days after breaking up with Mon-El, three days of struggling with her decision and the situation as a whole. Three days of considering everything that’s happened, not just in those days but in the past few months as well.

Three days before it clicks.

She’s been floundering. It’s not a comfortable realization, but it’s one that Kara forces herself to think through. She’d been struggling for months now, feeling as if there were no solid ground beneath her and her powers were wavering. As if at any moment she could fall, and have nothing to catch her. Not her powers, not her friends, nothing.

Kara’s never felt like that before.

There’d always been someone or something there to catch her. Her sister, her job at CatCo, even Cat herself when Kara needed her. And right now, everything she’d always depended on is missing. And she doesn’t know how to get it back.

True, Alex would come running before Kara could get half a sentence out asking. She knows that. But Kara also knows that after so many years sacrificing her own happiness Alex deserves a chance to focus on herself for once. She’s with Maggie now, has been spending more and more time with her girlfriend as the weeks go on. 

Alex is where she should be, and Kara isn’t going to pull her from that just because she’s upset over a breakup. She’s already had a sister night with ice cream and netflix to process the whole situation, calling Alex again would just be needy. And Kara refuses to put her needs above Alex’s again.

Things between the boys and her are healing, but there’s still a gulf between them all. Kara still can’t smile and pretend she believes James is doing the right thing by being Guardian, even if she doesn’t fight with him over it any longer. But she also can’t exactly go to him with superhero problems, not when she wishes he would spend more time being a hero in the way she knows he does best, telling stories that need to be told.

Cat used to be there for her when she needed, both as Kara and as Supergirl, but Cat had left. She’d left, and there didn’t seem to be any sign of a return. And as much as Kara has tried to deny it, that hurts as much as anything else lately. For three years of her life Cat had been a constant presence, a welcome anchor to keep her grounded. Even before she was Supergirl, Cat had been there with constant advice and guidance. It hadn’t always been gentle, but it had always been welcome. It had always been needed, and pushed Kara to be a better person.

And after she’d put on her cape, the advice had been even more important. Kara’d had no idea how to be a hero, not the way the people of the city needed her to be. She rushed into situations without thought, without consideration. And Cat had seen what she’d needed. Long conversations on her balcony had given Kara a confidence she’d desperately needed, and no small amount of constructive criticism to go along with it.

As Kara thinks over the past months, she realizes more and more that everything had changed when Cat left. There was no way around that realization. Cat had left, and Kara had started to struggle. She hadn’t been ready to stand on her own, no matter how much she wanted to pretend she was.

That was the greatest difference between her and Kal-El after all. He stood alone more often than not, but Kara didn’t. She fought with the support and belief of those around her. She accepted help, needed it even. She’s Supergirl, and this is her story, but she’s never been the only character in the book.

But now it seems that she is, or that she’s become part of someone else’s story rather than leading her own. She’s lost most of her support, of her focus. And she doesn’t know how to get it back.

Kara really wishes she could fly to Cat’s balcony and find some much needed advice at this moment, but it would only be an empty space. It wouldn’t hold answers, or hope, or anything she needs. Because she needs Cat, and Cat had left.

Remembering that fact nearly pushes her to tears, as emotionally vulnerable as she is at this moment. She’s hurting enough that the reminder of yet another thing she’s lost is almost too much. Kara just wishes she understood why Cat had left, what it is she hopes to find while she’s out diving somewhere. What the rest of the world has that National City doesn’t.

It’s not until she crawls into bed that night, mind replaying various conversations she’s had both with Mon-El and with Cat, that understanding hits her. And as soon as it does Kara is sitting bolt upright, wondering if she has the courage to fix this. Because she knows what she’d done, and she knows that making it right won’t be easy.

She’d broken up with Mon-El because she deserved better than being lied to. Which she does. Trust and truth are incredibly important in a relationship of any kind.

But she’d never been honest with Cat.

Even though Kara had been almost certain Cat knows the truth anyway, she’d never had the courage to admit it to her. She’d been a coward, hiding behind a cape and a crest rather than stepping forward in any way. Too afraid of rejection, of the way Cat had pushed her away the first time she’d realized who exactly it was flying around National City. Kara hadn’t been able to face that possibility a second time.

But it hadn’t mattered, had it? Cat had still left. Kara was still alone. True, she hadn’t been pushed away, but she’d still been left behind. The loneliness was the same either way. 

Not that Kara can blame Cat, as much as being here without her hurts. It would be beyond hypocritical of her. She’d broken up with Mon-El for lying to her, how can she ever judge Cat for leaving without ever exploring the attraction that had been between them when she’d done the same thing?

True, the secret she’d been hiding wasn’t anywhere near the same as the one he’d had. But that didn’t matter when all was said and done, because Cat still deserved someone who could be honest with her, the same way Kara does. And she hadn’t gotten that, so she’d left.

It’s the knowledge that Cat does deserve better that sends Kara climbing out of bed and into her suit, climbing into the sky as quickly as she can as she heads towards France and Cat’s hotel. She at least needs to apologize, to come clean and admit the truth. Cat deserves that much. And if Cat doesn’t forgive her, then that’s that. Kara isn’t going to expect that, isn’t even going to let herself hope for it. Making amends isn’t about her, it’s about Cat.

Anything else that comes after that, Kara will take regardless of what it is. But maybe, just maybe, she won’t have to feel adrift any longer.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know it needs more. Yes, I know leaving it there is rude. But this was just a plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone while I was trying to write something else, so here you have it. It is possible I will return to it later, but I make no promises


End file.
